Today is Sunday, a day of rest.
And yet, it has felt anything but restful. I have slept late this morning. I have had a lazy day. I have not really accomplished much at all beyond cleaning the flat and feeding myself and annoying people on the internet (unintentionally). And, of course, remaining fully locked for the end of the first week of chastity.
So why do I feel so drained of energy? Why do I feel so tired after such a lazy day? Has my resolve dissipated in a single instant?
No, I don’t think so. Else I would not have frozen the keys in a bottle of water which is now shut in the freezer, as per one of yesterday’s ideas. I know I said yesterday I would not do any such thing, but sometimes a day needs a special reaction and, for me, that is it today.
I don’t really know why this energy gap, other than that it has been a long and tiring week. I am, however, looking forward to the coming week. There is so much to look forward to. Not least, remaining in chastity for the second longest period I have ever managed and, what’s more, being absolutely comfortable with it.
Am I comfortable in chastity? Not just in the physicality of it, but in the mental aspects too? I can honestly say yes, I am. Indeed, I wish I had less control over it. But, again, as I said yesterday, my desires are irrelevant. It is up to Mistress to decide if she wishes that control to be removed for any length of time.
It doesn’t stop me dreaming though. It does not prevent me having hope that some day it will come true.
After all, who knows what the future holds? This time last year, I had never heard of male chastity, never seen a male chastity device and had no conception of what it would be like to be locked for any length of time, never mind wondering about anyone’s reasons for doing so. I am slowly but surely coming to learn. And I am so so grateful to Mistress for allowing me this opportunity.
And so, I can honestly say, again, that my resolve is not broken. Far from it. After a bad week, my resolve and devotion have only grown. As we enter week two, we shall see how far this can take us.