I am now confirmed locked for a very long time.
I have frozen the keys in a litre bottle of water which is now sitting happily in the freezer. I want this to be so. I know it should not be up to me. I can only hope my actions give some satisfaction to those who may care about such things. All I know is that I need to be locked up. And I need to lose control over it.
It is all very well self locking, albeit on the understanding that another wishes it to be so. Self locking, though, is self locking. It is entirely different to give away control. Perhaps one day I will be lucky enough for someone else to actually physically take the keys off me. But for now, a change is afoot.
Until now, I have locked and kept the keys in my wallet, carrying them with me everywhere, “just in case”. This has now changed. It is actually a mark of confidence in myself, in the device, that I feel able to lock away the keys. I have never before even left the house without them.
And now? I want to prove myself to Mistress. I haven’t told her what I have done. She may not approve as she did not instruct it. But I hope she is satisfied that I am genuine and really really really do not want to unlock.
It is not unlikely I may end up being punished for my disobedience, even though it is done purely in the name of devotion. I just wanted everyone to know that I am serious about it, I am not playing a game. I have locked and removed the ability to unlock.
Yes, I know the application of hot water will enable me to remove the keys from the frozen water bottle. There are always, always, ways around things when you lock yourself and nobody wishes to take the keys away. I know this. I accept this. But for now, in this second week of lockdown, I am resolute in my devotion and firmly resolved that I shall remain locked for as long as is required. And I hope so much this is what Mistress would wish of me.