Will I give in?
Today has not been good. Things have been sore, particularly this morning. But I kept faith, I knew things would sort themselves out. And so it has proved.
I would be so easy to defrost the keys, have them to hand, ready to unlock if I felt the sudden need. But that is most distinctly not what this is about.
I did not lock this thing around me 10 days ago for fun. I intended to make a statement. I intended to let it be known that first, I was devoted enough to do it and second, that it was possible.
I am lead to believe that being locked for a full 24 hours is rare in itself. To do it for 10 days on the trot, rarer still. And to have no intention of changing things unless permission is granted and, even then, to have to wait for two litres’ water worth of ice to defrost first, I hope and pray shows I am devoted.
So no, I will not be yeilding. I will not be giving in. It is far more important to me that I show devotion to Mistress than I suffer some discomfort. I am careful. There is no injury, there is no blood – a key sign that something is wrong. I am devoted, yes, but I am not stupid.
So for any new readers who think it is a simple matter of attaching something to the undersides and just waiting for release, it is not like that at all. It is symbolic. It really is nothing to do with me. I fell into this almost accidentally and yet I am so glad that I did. For me, submission and devotion are everything. The chastity is merely an outward, though private, sign of it.
For me, the primary thing is to be devoted, to be seen to be devoted, to prove myself day in and day out, week in and week out. There are many means to accomplish this. It is up to the individual how they show their devotion. But show it you must.
Mistress is not my partner. She is who she is. People may think me strange that I dedicate myself to someone in this way, knowing there is no hope of any kind of more intimate relationship. I have to clarify, this is not why I do it. I do it because of the soul cleansing absolute and utter pleasure of giving oneself over to another with no hope or desire or requirement of anything in return.
It is called devotion.