From dusk till dawn I am reminded.
This thing, this metal object is always there, day and night. It feels permanent. Certainly, making the keys less accessible changes things subtly. Of course, not as much as not having access to them at all, but, depending on things go with this lockdown, that can perhaps be arranged. As discussed in a previous post, there are methods at one’s disposal.
What I find absolutely fascinating is the focus being locked in chastity gives to the mind. I cannot forget that I am locked, I cannot forget for whom I am locked. When things get awkward and things twist and pinch, I have to gather my resolve and tell myself over and over again why I am doing it – “because it is pleasing to her – because it is pleasing to her – because it is pleasing to her”. It is a constant ever-echoing refrain. I must please Mistress. It is an imperative.
And when, on certain occasions, I feel unbidden arousal start to cause pressure, I have to focus and force things to die down. This is not possible overnight, of course. Such events occurring overnight or early morning are uncontrollable. But they pass. They do not happen every night. But they do pass. Make no mistake, they can be agonising and cause chafing and soreness the whole of the following day, but they are ways of coping with it.
And so, quite apart from the sensation of being encaged in steel during the day, at night there is the midnight waking, at times in agony, lying trying to find a comfortable position. And so the reminder is there all the time, the why and the who. All the time.
And I love being like this.
This week, I have focused on chastity, quite obviously, as it has featured very strongly in my life. Technically heading into week 3 of lockdown, there nevertheless remains another side to this. I hope very soon to be able to delve into that world, the other side of this submission, for it has many angles and many viewpoints. And it has utterly changed my life so much for the better.