Today I want to do something different.
Today I want to say a little bit about how I got here, how it has changed me and what direction I see the future taking.
Today, Mistress has allowed me a little respite for hygiene reasons and my gosh was I desperate for it. I have a new resolve now and a new devotion, pretty much like the last one but about ten times stronger.
First of all, this journey did not start four weeks ago. It started over a year ago, on 10th May 2015 to be precise.
I have always harboured such dreams, many of them conflicting, but those dreams were always filled with fantasy. Never ever in any dream did I dream of chastity. Yes, I dreamed of submission to a wonderful Mistress – I admit that freely and willingly – but not like this. My dreams, such as they were, were filled with simple submissive acts like grovelling and boot worship and bondage and crawling around and chains and manacles and such like. I simply never took account of the mental aspect.
And so I came to be lucky enough to meet this absolutely wonderful Mistress, whose praises I cannot extol highly enough. Yet that is not my purpose here. My purpose is to try to explain how it feels, to those who may not know or, even, to those who do. It may help clarify things, it may help shed a light on this strange and beautiful world I have been lucky enough to encounter.
I visited. How can I explain that? I learned things about me I never knew. I learned I loved to be hit, and hit hard. That never before existed in my philosophy. I learned that to me, pain was a blessing, a certain kind of pain anyway. In just one short hour I was reduced to tears of gratitude as I knew then and there my life would never be the same again.
And so it has proved. I am to attend a special evening where I will prove this submission to Mistress and prove that I am worthy of her consideration and regard. The next day I will attend at dungeon for a final flogging before she travels away on her holidays. There will be a long 3 or 4 week gap until I can see her again.
But, and curiously, the fundamental thing is that what is most important to me in every way possible, is her happiness. I will miss her, of course. But I shall still be in just about daily contact, letting her know how wonderful she is and letting her know all is well and doing my absolute positive best to support in any way I can.
This is a strange devotion, this submission is something I have never experienced before in my life and, I know, will never get the opportunity to experience again. I am so so lucky that there is someone prepared to accept the simply devotion of a simple man.
This is my submission. I give in to it willingly and gratefully. And I know I am so so lucky.