Things will never be the same again.
Sometimes in life, one is lucky enough to be able to realise that there are turning points, and sometimes one is lucky enough to be able to know exactly the time it occurred, as it occurred. Now is such a time.
This weekend has been astonishing and amazing. I had built myself up into such a frenzy about femdom night, into such a frenzy about visiting Mistress on Saturday, that all else was banished from my kind as my imagination took over and reduced me to jelly.
And what actually happened? Well, nothing. It was all for nothing. At least, I call it nothing. What actually happened is that I have had the most special and significant weekend in my entire life. I was hit a little bit, I was not femme dommed at all really on Friday. But, first and foremost, I was there, on both occasions, supporting Mistress and being helpful and obedient and all things, I hope, a proper submissive should be.
The thing is, I was being these things for real. It was not role play, it was not a game, it was not conducted with overtones of sexual favour. It was Mistress being herself and me being myself, with the only difference being that myself is devoted to Mistress.
And in being that real, that peacefully significantly normal, I have found an equilibrium. For I realise I am devoted to Mistress come what may. I am not devoted just so long as she wears the Mistress outfit, the pvc and high heels boots and such like. I am devoted to her because of who she is, not because of what she portrays on the public stage. I am, quite simply, devoted to Mistress.
This is a raw feeling, one I have never felt before. It increases every day, but this weekend in particular has driven it home. There has been no element of fantasy, no game playing. I have merely been lucky enough to spend time with Mistress, to talk with her and plan ahead for the future with her.
I am so so lucky. To be strung up on the cross and whipped is one thing. But to be trusted to just have a conversation is another thing entirely.
If any of you are ever lucky enough to be in this position, please please do not take it for granted. I hope so much I do not, but try each and every day to help Mistress and to make her life a happier place for her.
I have said it before but will say it again, this is devotion. This is devotion on a scale I have never known before. And I am so so lucky.