Is there such a thing as too long?
Today marks day 30. Just tomorrow to go and it will be my first ever clear month. I have to say that today again things are more than comfortable.
However, I have heard tell of some who reach the evening having spent the day locked and ask themselves “why am I doing this?”. And then when they give it some consideration, they come to the swift conclusion that it is an utterly ridiculous thing to do and benefits no-one, so they unlock again.
Still others have got into a routine of locking during the day and unlocking at night. For others still, it is the other way round. And again, there are yet others who are locked all the time, except when they are taking part in certain kinds of activity.
All these things are possible when the keys and/or keyholder are in close proximity, ie for those with keyholding partners or for those who self lock.
I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like if the keys and/or keyholder are remote, perhaps many many miles away, with no alternatives available, other than bolt cutters.
And so, in these circumstances in which I find myself, or indeed in which I put myself, where do I go next? What should be the next step? I have proved a point, to myself anyway, by lasting the full month, being locked day and night with just two episodes of permitted release in all that time.
I believe I have shown myself to be persistent.
But now what?
Is it perhaps time for a holiday? Should I just defrost the keys and allow myself a few days off? In my experience, once the device is removed, it is difficult to summon the resolve to put it back on again.
And does it really matter anyway?
It is a personal thing, this submission. And yet it seems to have no goal.
I think this is perhaps where the ultimate goal can become realised, where those who ask themselves “why am I doing this?” and then unlock sort of miss the point.
But it pleases me because I believe it pleases Mistress. She prefers things this way. She may not be absolutely sure at any given point that I remain locked. She doesn’t have the keys. But there is a point of trust here too.
I know I remain locked. I know it is for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I know the truth of it and I know what it feels like. Today, I am a little frantic but no less determined, a little questioning of motives, but no less sure of myself.
I will remain locked for Mistress until she advises she wishes otherwise. It really is that simple. It may seem odd or strange that I put myself through this, but I get a deep sense of satisfaction from the belief that I am doing as Mistress would wish.
And really, that is all that matters.