A new thing happened today.

I have had a new realisation. I have decided this locking is not for me any more. Does that mean I unlock? No, far from it. It means I am giving up my option of having a choice.

I have said before that I wish to be locked, god knows why. I have tried various explanations and some are true, I dare say. But, fundamentally, this being locked in chastity thing is nasty and intrusive and painful. And yet I love it. Can you square that? I cannot. Mistress prefers me to be locked,. not overtly or in terms of absolute preference, it is merely a preference.

Or at least that is how I think of it. I may be wrong.

However, one thing is sure. Things cannot remain the way they are. It is no position to be left in to be left holding keys that nobody wants and freezing them when just a few moments’ application of hot water will relieve them of their bind.

I do not know the way out of this, I just know the current situation cannot continue, for there is no benefit to anyone.

Have you heard of the kitchen safe? It is a plastic box with a locking timer on top. It is relatively flimsy but has a sort of robustness.

Anyway, perhaps that is the next stage. I have been locked over a month now. I have no intentions of giving in. I do not wish to give in. The sad thing is, I actually really really like being locked for Mistress. I feel safe. I feel I am doing something that pleases her.

She may not like the kitchen safe thing, but I am sure I can put it to other uses. And with that, I had better finish for today. Hope is a wonderful thing, but it is dreadful too. And I am so full of hope.

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