My mind has slipped into somewhere else.
My focal point has changed. I thought it had changed before. It had not. But it has changed now.
It is five weeks since lockdown started and I am still in lockdown. In that whole five weeks (well, it will be five weeks at midnight tonight) I have had two little breaks for hygiene reasons. They were welcome, but barely necessary, as the device I wear is quite open and very amenable to cleaning and hygiene whilst still in place.
Five weeks? Is this a joke? Does anyone believe me?
Yes, it is a full solid five weeks. Apart from the two episodes mentioned above, I have been locked in chastity, in a stainless steel device, 24/7 round the clock no hope of release and no desire for it, for 5 full weeks. It doesn’t sound like much, does it?
But it does change the mind, subtly and irrevocably.
I do not seek release. I do not lock because of some findom who believes what I actually want is a wank. I don’t. I want to do what Mistress wishes. As Mistress said, this is not orgasm delay. It is absolute and utter denial. And for one who is not a lover or partner, that denial is exactly like being a chaste priest of the church, only better. Because I actually do chastity.
I am also on a personalised 24 hour lockdown as I have locked the keys into a kitchen safe. It started at 10.30 yesterday evening and the keys will therefore not become available until 10.30 pm today. And you know what? It isn’t long enough. The only reason it is not longer as I feel it is up to Mistress to tell me how long to be locked for. I would hate to set the timer for the full 10 days only for Mistress to say tomorrow “oh you can unlock for cleaning for an hour” thus putting me in a position of being unable to obey Mistress’s instructions.
If it has not occurred to you yet, I am a terrible person for tying myself in knots.
But still, all I can say is that in chastity I feel safe. I feel comforted. I feel human, actually. And so long as Mistress wishes it, I shall remain in locked chastity, just because it is actually the right thing to do.