The countdown has begun.
It has been four days since the keys were first locked away in the kitchen safe, 10pm on Wednesday night. And now it is Sunday. 10 pm is fast approaching. Just a couple of minutes to go and the keys will be free.
How will I feel? How will I feel when that timer clicks all the way down to zero and the kitchen safe opens, releasing the keys? And yet for me, it is not release. I have received no instructions. I can get at the keys but I cannot use them because Mistress has not said that I may. I remain in lockdown.
These two levels of locking are fascinating. On one side there is the control, the actual physical ability to have access to keys to unlock oneself. Take that away, and then there really is no choice. But, for a self locker, it is when that safe opens, that is the testing time. Do I dare unlock? Should I take my chances with lying to Mistress and saying oh yes, Mistress, I did not unlock, I just sat and looked at it.
And now the time has come.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 – unlock
I stare at the little plastic box, just stare at it. I check the lid. Yes, indeed it is loose. And yet I do nothing but look at it. The glinting keys inside seem to laugh at me. I feel powerless. I feel as if the last four days with no choice have actually physically removed my ability to choose any more. And still I can only stare.
For any doubters, this is real time. I just wanted you to know that.
I do not know what to do. I have no instructions. Mistress is away, elsewhere, with her own concerns and desires and needs and requirements and I am only secondary. I learned that a long time ago and yes, I am happy with it. It seems somehow fitting. But now that the keys are unlocked, I find that I am not. And I find that I cannot.
That, somehow, seems fitting also.
It has not been the best weekend in the world, for many reasons. Nor has it been the worst. But I do know that I have remained locked in chastity for Mistress for the full term and I also know that now that the keys are available again, I do not wish to use them.
Thus ends week 6 of lockdown. Week 7, it seems, is inevitable now. Can I do this? Can I take this? I do not know. Please, join me and find out.