I feel strangely directionless.
I really do not know how else to put it. With a chastity device, at least you know where you stand. Without one, there is a certain grey area.
The huge irony is that it is easier to stay chaste when unlocked than it is when locked. It is difficult to describe. There is a certain dance going on. Being locked in the device is its own physical thrill. It does things to one’s anatomy. But without the device, there is simply nothing. And, quite curiously and unexpectedly, unforeseen desires seem to drop away into the nothingness from whence they came.
Let nobody kid you, it is absolutely certainly possible to masturbate whilst wearing a chastity cage. The cage itself does not prevent orgasm. Far from it, in fact. It induces nerve endings, it stimulates, it exacerbates, it encourages excitement. Any male who has ever locked at all will know well the effect putting on the main ring has. It is immediate. It is uncontrollable. It is almost automatic. Sometimes it can take hours before things die down and it becomes possible to lock properly.
And yet, it somehow is not the point. The point of locking is the proof. Mistress needs to know that you are locked. It is something that is just needed. The facts of the matter need not get in the way of the reality. The reality is that of surety. There is some kind of absolute about it, something that transcends trust, something that sometimes Mistress just needs.
So, I have said there is a certain grey area. Not from my position there isn’t. I know the world is not dichromatic, I know there are shades of grey (50, apparently, as if you could count them) but in reality, things really are black and white. Am I chaste or am I not? Am I locked or am I not? Am I devoted to Mistress or am I not?
I see things simplistically, I know this. There are no shades of grey. There are choices. I choose to be chaste. I choose to lock when Mistress wishes it. I choose to obey her.
And that has become the shining light of my life.