Chastity is hard.
Make no mistake about it. It is not an easy thing to do. Don’t believe anything anyone else ever tells you. If there is one truth about male chastity, it is that it is damned hard.
But it is so so rewarding on a deep, almost spiritual level.
If I had not been locked this week, I don’t know if I could have coped.
In such a turbulent week, of waking and going to work and going to bed and waking and going to work and going to bed and, quite literally, nothing else, there has been something constant which has kept me going.
And the thing that has kept me going is that I remain locked, Mistress holds the keys and there is absolute nothing I can, or want to, do about it. It has given me a foundation for existence, almost. It is part of my reality at the moment and with everything else that has been going on, it is more real than anything.
When I say chastity is hard, I guess I mean two things.
First, it is hard to get to this stage. Many think they can go on-line and buy a device, stick it on and almost literally throw away the key. Believe me, I have learned the hard way that this is not so. It has taken well over a year for me to reach this stage, getting on for a year and a half in which to try to convince Mistress I am up to it and able to do it.
And the second reason it is hard is sort of more abstruse, but sort of more meaningful. I make no bones about the fact that this week in Real Life has been a stinker. But I got through. But there was a point where I realised that if I had actually had the keys in my own possession, I would have unlocked. Not because I had to. Not because I was in any particular pain or anything like that. Not to any purpose. Just out of sheer frustration at life and work and reality.
Mistress saved me from that. Because if I had done it, as she knows, I would have been devastated and felt terrible about it and gone for a few weeks in a state of bleak despair.
So yes, okay, this has not been the best week as far as Real Life goes.
Mistress has said I am not to write to her tomorrow morning, as I usually do, because, I think, she wants me to have a rest after this stressful week. I am so so tempted to disobey, for the Real Life week is over and a new reality can now kick in with what promises to be a wonderful and exciting weekend ahead. And yet, of course, I dare not obey Mistress. I absolutely dare not.
But maybe just a little message? Just a little note to let her know how wonderful she is? She surely could not object to that?
I had better not. We shall see what the new day brings. As I think you can see, after a couple of days of silence, I have my mojo back.