Life goes on.
Ell Eye Eff Eee Gee Ooh Eee Ess Ooh Enn.
Locking is what it is, a privilege and an honour. That will never change.
For some, it is a sexual fetish. Not for me. It is not a deep seated long standing erotic desire of mine. I came to it accidentally. I am so glad I did. For me it is a deep seated need to not be the typical male stereotypical wastrel wanker that so many males appear to aspire to. I have even, for goodness sake, been criticised on Twitter for not being that stereotype.
For others, visiting a dominatrix feeds their sexual fetish. Not so for me. I did not know a single thing about bdsm, not really. Of course, I had read stuff, but reading is not knowledge (although it can lead to it). I was just a green an untried, unbeaten, unbowed pristine skinned novice.
Things are different now. I realise I am not a novice any more. But nor do I know anything special.
All I know is devotion. It is not blind. It is considered, it is evaluated and it is valued. But I do not know if it is reciprocated. That hardly matters though. I have made up my mind. I guess it can be unmade, although I do not know how.
I apologise for the unusual tone of today’s entry. Alas, I am only human and sometimes reality bites. It has bitten today, but it has not lessened my devotion to Mistress. I hope she understands.