Some things are unforgettable.
And there are other things which should be unforgettable but which, as it turns out, fall out of one’s mind’s grasp after a certain period of time.
This thought has come about because today I was going to write about length of time locked, how long was possible, how long is too long, how long is not long enough, what counts as a reasonable amount of time, all these kind of things.
And then a thought occurred to me. I asked myself, well now, in this current phase, how long have I been locked? I wanted to make some statement about whether it has been long enough to be considered long term locking or whether it is still just a tiny amount of time.
And the sad truth is, I don’t know.
There was a time where I would keep records of dates and times and hours and minutes. I would know to the last second how long I had been locked. But now? I am not sure I even know how many weeks it has been.
I know there was a four day break in there somewhere.
I remember the first ever time I held the keys over to Mistress. I remember the day she gave them back. And I remember the day she took them back again. These moments are crystal clear in my memory and always will be so.
But when did any of these things happen? I couldn’t tell you for sure.
I know I was locked for a full four weeks starting on Christmas Day last year. I unlocked because my anatomy was bleeding and nearly wrecked. It took a while to recover.
With a change of device and a different mentality, I know there were a couple of periods of chastity between February and June, but I do not recall the details.
I know I locked on 16th June, unlocked on the afternoon of 19th then locked again at midnight for the lockdown, which is when this blog started, and I know that continued for the next 58 days. I know there was then a break of four days.
But then, my timeline is lost. I lost count the day I handed over the keys.
As I say, I remember each and every moment since then with crystal clarity and yet I could not tell you when exactly when they took place.
Right now, I do not know if I have been continuously locked for 3 or 4 weeks. Maybe less, maybe more. I just do not know. I guess I could work it out. But I almost do not want to know. Do not need to know. I don’t keep count any more. I am locked. That is all.
Is this pleasing to Mistress? I don’t really know either. I guess if it was not then I would have a set of keys in my possession, which I do not.
I do know that I do not do this for Mistress. Well, that is not really true. I do do it for her, but I am sure she does not really care one way or the other. Well, I know she does really, but the point is about benefit and really there is nothing in my locking which provides benefit to Mistress. But I am equally sure that her preference is for locking, not just for me but for everyone. And in meeting her preference, I hope I am in some way making her pleased with me, as someone who is honoured enough and privileged enough to be allowed to lock.
For this is a key thing. Being locked in chastity is not a vehicle for male fantasy. It should not be. It should be natural and logical. It should be blooming obvious. I have found this. No matter what my good intentions, my anatomy has a mind of its own and, therefore, must be caged, more to protect me from myself than anything else.
And for Mistress to choose to hold the keys, to protect me from myself, is truly an honour. I cannot stress that enough. I am honoured.
I still do not know how long I have been locked for, though. I hope it lasts a long long time.