For many, it is a really big thing.
Once again, it is all about the reasons one has for being involved in chastity in the first place. I know, from all sorts of things I have seen and heard and read, that tease and denial can be the primary motivating factor for many who seek to live the chastity lifestyle.
It is not about their “pleasure” being removed, but about it being denied. But only temporarily.
That is important, that temporariness of the chastity locking. I am making no judgement here. I am saying absolutely nothing about value or whether one way of doing things is any better than other. I am merely trying to understand and, selfishly of course, am trying to understand myself.
I am beginning to think that for the majority of males, chastity within their relationship is a form of tease. Yes, there is the control aspect of it, but not all couples who indulge in chastity play are also into other aspects of the bdsm world. Each to their own. For many, the chastity play is the be all and end all.
In my mind’s eye I can envisage how it might work (for, let’s face it, that is all I have to go on). A woman decides that her man needs to be locked in chastity, for whatever reason, and so it begins. It is up to the female how it all works, or, at least in my mind, that is how it should be.
She can dangle the keys in front of him, watching as his desire causes ever increasing soreness and tightness. She can behave in any way she wishes, knowing her man is powerless to do anything but adore her, for she holds the keys to his crown jewels.
In the male, it induces a different mental state. He is not getting what he wants when he wants it. He is getting what he wants when she wants it. If she does. And so he becomes more dutiful, more respectful even. He wishes to protect both himself and his partner and so he acquiesces, forever longing for that release.
I can see how it might work. I can see how it would be fun.
Am I jealous of people who have this kind of relationship? Well, to be entirely honest, at one point yes, I might have been. But not now. I cannot really explain how or why things changed, how or why my world view subtly shifted. All I can say is that I am now in a place I never even dreamed I would ever be in, but it absolutely suits me down the ground.
I don’t get tease and denial. By that, I do not mean I am, alas, not a recipient of it. I mean it does not mean anything to me. I am not locked in chastity in anticipation of that wonderful moment of release when I would get intimate time to spend with my partner at her whim. For me, it is just not like that.
It astonishes me constantly that there are single males out their who pester Mistresses with demands to be locked, only to then complain about it in the most lewd terms. I find it disgusting. I am sorry if I sound judgmental. But I just find it an absolutely awful way to treat a Mistress. Such people beg to be locked, then spend all their time saying how much they wish to be unlocked so that they can do what the vast majority of single males do when without any sexual release.
I am not like that. You probably do not believe me. But I am telling you, I am not like that. I do not wish release. There are those who crave to be unlocked, to be allowed to have their wanton way with their own anatomy. I do not wish to touch the thing ever again. If I crave anything, it is that tomorrow Mistress does not allow me to be unlocked, does not wish me to be unlocked, does not even mention it.
But I know that is a big ask. I know full well the responsibility it puts on another person. That is just one of the reasons I am so grateful to Mistress for all that she does for me, including holding my keys so I cannot get near them. She has saved me from myself and I am a better person for it.
That is all I can say, really. I have to confess that the “tease and denial” thing is still there to a certain extent, in that I have very little control over my anatomy in certain circumstances. And there is absolutely no doubt that being in the presence of Mistress is one of those circumstances, for she is such an amazing and wonderful and beautiful person.
But really, all I hope for is that I am allowed to stay locked. It just suits me and it just feels right.