I cannot lock.
Certain parts of my anatomy have reached a stage where to lock would most likely cause damage which would be of no help to anyone.
That most recent stage of locking which I experienced really not that long ago has left its scars.
On the whole, things are fine, but there are a couple of places where conditions are such that locking again would be very unwise and, indeed, unsustainable.
A lesser Mistress would not care.
I do remain chaste. I absolutely swear to that. But I do know that no matter what or whom I swear on, no matter what oath I may take, no matter that I know Mistress trusts me, it is still not the same as being locked. That surety is still lacking.
A part of me has thought that if I choose to be locked in chastity and Mistress is prepared to hold the keys, then that is the end of that. It is a bit like putting on a pair of running shoes and setting off to do a marathon, an ultra-marathon, a Forrest Gump style race with no end.
And yet Mistress has not seen me locking. She has not provided the padlock and key. She has not ascertained that that key, and only that key, fits the lock.
You see, it is about far more than chastity and denial and game playing and fantasy and whatever titillation one may get from just the thought of it.
As I think is clear from all that I have written, for me that titillation is basically meaningless nothing.
What it is about is trust. Pure and simple. I trust Mistress to look after me and have care for my well being and in return, Mistress trusts me to remain chaste and to try and do nice things for her like providing gifts and writing nice emails and such like.
And so, although I remain unlocked and do not know when I might be able to lock again, and though family circumstances may make things difficult and may scramble my mind somewhat, I still try to do my best for Mistress, because she is so special and deserves my best efforts. And she allows me leeway at this time, because she is a good Mistress.
And that really is the simplicity of it all. She is a good Mistress. She is the best.