Is it all just a game?
I mean, really? When Real Life kicks off and everything else drops, does it mean that this whole kinky world is just a fantasy realm which one is allowed to inhabit every now and again? Is it, essentially, not real?
Well yes, I am afraid that is what I think right now. Oh do not get me wrong. It is as real as the person perceiving it. But it has no more hyper-reality than other than other day to day living has.
One can envisage oneself living a chaste lifestyle, submitting to a beautifully dominant woman, but, outside of Real Life, it always remains a game.
True, friendship can develop. But the absolute utter essence of submission and domination becomes lost in what can only be described as “the rules”.
So in the Real World, things happen which affect those one cares most deeply about. Is Mistress exempt from this? Oh my goodness no.
But is she the first person I turn to when times get hard?
No, she is not.
And am I the first person she turns to when times get hard?
No, I am not.
And neither should I be.
And so it becomes clear that this game of kink is just that, a game. It is a serious game, and well intentioned on all sides. But it is not reality.
It is a kind of reality, but, when the chips are down, it is not that which moves us, it is not that which makes us what we are, it is not that which is the core of our being.
It therefore becomes an expression of that.
I am not submissive by nature. I think I have said this before. Never has it been so clear than now, when my family seem to be relying on me for so much.
And yet never has Mistress been more important to me. She has her own trials and tribulations, she has her own worries and her own life to be getting on with.
But underlying all is the knowledge that she is there.
I may not be very good at expressing my emotions at times such as these. I just get on with the job that must be done. But I am granted an inner strength.
That is all. I have been remiss lately, but please do not think it is through lack of devotion. Far from it.