I want to write something different today.
My experiences meeting Mistress a couple of days ago have literally blown my mind, again. I have to try to do something to switch off and to focus on something else. I cannot tell you how much I adore this person, what a powerful and positive influence she is to me. And I fear I run the risk of alienating some if I do not try to change tack.
I also want to explore a little, try and describe things a little differently, be a little more experimental in my writings.
So here goes, then.
The thought has been wandering around my mind for a few days now. It really centres on a question which occurred to me and which I do not think I actually have an answer for. All I can do is relate my own experiences and see if they accord with the experiences of others. I entirely accept that they may not.
On occasion, I visit Mistress and she decides that the time is right for me to be strapped to the St Andrew’s Cross and flogged and whipped and paddled and caned, whatever she happens to want to do.
I absolutely love it. There really is no experience I have ever had which can equal it. Until I met Mistress, I had no knowledge of my predilections in this area. I simply did not know if it was something I would like, but I just had to find out. And oh my gosh, my life was turned inside out by the experience.
I have also come to realise that it is not the experience itself which really gets to me, it is the fact that it is most wonderful and amazing Mistress doing it. I don’t think I could stand it from anyone else. It just would not be the same thing. It is my adoration of Mistress that gives me such pleasure, not necessarily the beatings themselves. Of course, I may be wrong about this, but my heart tells me I am right.
So the question arose in my mind, do I simply not feel pain the same way as other people? For truth be told, I will take anything, absolutely anything, that she wishes to do to me, without question and without hesitation.
Does this mean it does not hurt?
Of course not. It hurts like hell. But I can make myself take it because Mistress wishes it so.
But the thing is, I also love the sensation. I love doing things which I believe are pleasing to Mistress. But I love the feel of the whip lashing across my back. I love the pummelling of the floggers. I adore the thwack of the cane or paddle across my behind. Again and again and again. I just cannot get enough of it.
But only for Mistress.
Am I a masochist? I don’t know. Do I feel pain? Of course I do. Do I enjoy the feeling of pain? Oh my gosh yes.
I would be very interested to know other’s opinions, if they would care to share them.