This blog has always been about chastity and submission.

Sometimes, I write more about one than the other and any reader would be hard pressed to work out if I actually had a preference between the two.

Each has their own special place. Each aspect has its own things to recommend it. Each, naturally, has its own down side, of sorts.

So here I would like to have a go at evaluating the pros and cons of each, to try and decide which I prefer, to try and understand what each of them are. I have to confess before starting that I already know the answer, but it may be useful to others deciding whether or not this is for them to see written down the bare facts of the matter.


To swear oneself to chastity has two key aspects to it centred on whom one is locking for.

If you lock because it is pleasurable to you and feeds your fantasy, then make no mistake, there is only one person you are doing it for, and it isn’t your Mistress. It can still be something that is pleasing to Mistress, but it is not one of her requirements.

If you lock because your Mistress, or partner, tells you to because they want you to, then that is completely different.

So, once clarity on this has been reached, it really is then down to how much pain you want to go through. If you are the kind of person who likes pain, all you need be careful of is that you do not irrevocably injure yourself in the process. I am afraid I am the kind of person who pushes that boundary a little too far sometimes, although no injury has been irrevocable. Just uncomfortable.

It is also important to realise that the fantasy of being locked 24/7, having a keyholder hold the keys and not release you, ever, is exactly that – a fantasy.

I have written about the benefits of chastity for both the locked and the keyholder before and will not detail them further – I will just refer back to a previous post on the subject.


There are essentially two kinds of submission, exactly as there is for chastity.

There are those who submit because they wish to and there are those who submit because they have no choice. It is a very fine distinction indeed, but it is real.

In both cases, an individual chooses to submit to their Mistress. That individual can make any number of claims about what they will and will not do for her, about how important and wonderful she is.

However, the key factor in all of it is the Mistress, her desires and wishes. If she wishes something to be, then it shall be so.

There is another distinction to be drawn between two kinds of submission and that is the distinction between part time and full time submission. For many, the latter is pure fantasy and doesn’t happen in real life. For many others, their submission only lasts for as long as they are in the presence of their Mistress, doing her bidding, perhaps as part of a game.

The penny drops

And so, given the above, where do I fit in? Which do I prefer? Which game gives me the greater pleasure?

Of course you already know the answer too and the answer is I prefer both and neither.

There is something greater going on. In some ways, chastity and submission are two sides of the same coin, but in other important ways, there really is no coin.

I am not just a player of games, although those games do sometimes get played. I do not feel like a “part time submissive” who only submits when he chooses to. For me, it is very very real and very much full time.

It can, of course, be a slightly awkward situation to be in, but there is an overriding factor which makes it all okay.

Mistress is the most important person. It is her wishes and hopes and desires which are important, above all else.

There is chastity, there are submissive games, there is flogging and whipping and crawling to heel and any manner of other things which may be done to show one’s submission.

But this submission is greater than the sum of its parts. The thoughts and sensations can be overwhelming at times, but is just part and parcel of what it means to have reached a realisation that there is someone who is more wonderful than you can ever properly say.

So really the answer to the question as to which I prefer is pretty simple. My preference is neither here nor their. My preference is for Mistress to be happy. That’s all.



2 thoughts on “Chastity vs Submission

  1. You do stellar work in your attempts to keep me happy. You succeed very well and your efforts are heartfelt and sincere. Keep up the good work.



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